Seriously Its Friday ….

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So after a lack of the sandman visiting me last night and living on four hours sleep I was greeted by the lovely premium boarding gate and the not so enthusiastic gate keeper who by the way thought her face at 5 am was a colouring in book not her actually face and who if you ask me looked like she had more important things to do then to check my boarding pass at 5 am in the morning … what sorry did you take you away from the student night $1 drinks that is Thursday nights in Brisvegas or maybe that was your look from last night …

As I collect my bag which thankfully hasn’t been searched for the ten time and head towards the golden arches ok maybe not the golden arches but the escalator to the coffee god that is the same isnt it ? … but like usual as I think I’m going to make a clear run pass security I get asked to make my way over here please mam … sorry last time I looked I worked in IT not a brothel and I wonder if anyone has ever said no to them … I think that I seriously get asked all the time to get searched because I think that in my sleep I’ve had like this invisible tattoo placed on my face that says potential drug mule …

So I make my way to the Coffee God and what would you know I greeted by dumb and dumber who can’t work out if I ordered a skim latte or a flat white as they were too busy trying to chat up the two 20 something business men behind me … I want to tell them that they are wasting their times as they are gay and yet I think no lets let them think that maybe they have a chance I mean it is Friday … in the end I end up with a skim flat white with two sugars maybe they thought that I needed to be sweetened up …. I didn’t have the nerve to say to them hello can’t you already see that I’m sweet enough lol …

Boarding time and like usual I have my 4A seat which is the window seat that I love I have the leg room not that I need it but hey just because im a short arse doesn’t mean I cant utilise it and hopefully not with anyone between me and 4C … shit WTF Qantas have you done I have some smelly miner in 4B my Friday has just gone from acceptable to no way this can’t be happening to me is it all a bad dream … and guess what as I make my way to my window seat he wants to talk are you f**king serious doesn’t he understand the etiquette of row 4 and 5 … you might have been lucky buster getting this seat but trust me I won’t be making conversation with someone that doesn’t realise that no you can’t get more than two days out of the same clothes before needing to wash them in washing powder …

So as I take my seat I pretend that I can’t speak English and I reach for my headphones and continue to ignore you because seriously I would love to roll my eyes just now in front of you but I was concerned that you wouldn’t be smart enough to understand what I have just done to you and therefore I’m not wasting any eye rolling on you …

Now as the plane starts to take off I start to have a little smirk on my face as I realise your knuckles are turning white and your new to flying and that you might be spending next two hours in the bathroom and not next to me and I think God otherwise I would be asking the air hostess for some sparkling wine as it has to be time for Champagne O’clock  …

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