WARNING tears ahead …

This isn’t going to be one of my funny blogs #sorrynotsorry as I wanted to share with you all that sometimes the happy smiling funny person you think you know might actually be dealing with a lot more in the background but they choose not to share with others … #thatnotme

So some of you would be aware that I thought last year I had found a man that I thought could possibly be someone in my life for a very long time … unfortunately that didn’t happen due to not only my own issues but his as well … and look I am not one to place blame or guilt we are not perfect and I think once we start to realise that then we can let go of some of the issues we have with ourselves …

And even though my #2019 ended with a heavy heart that was filled with sadness from the lose of a relationship but it was also filled with hope and belief that #2020 was going to be a better year … Although if you ask a champagne drinker #2008 was a great year lol …

I started this year funny enough with seeing a psychologist on new years day I know right who the f%&K sees a psychologist on 1 January 2020 #seemsiwasnttheonlyperson lol … I guess the reason being is that I wanted to start this year on a positive note I wanted the negativity of last year to be gone … and so with that I had my first session and wow did I cry, I cried so much I that I thought I was going to fill up the swimming pool next door #mustremembertobuystocksinkleenex …. but it felt so good to get all this sadness out of me I guess for too long I was holding it back hiding it and it was slowly eating me away …

I walked out of that session feeling like I had some direction again in my life and that what I had been hiding and holding onto it was ok to let go and it was ok not to have to hide it anymore … then I started to read and I read all in one go #sadiknow Brene Brown’s book The Gifts of Imperfection and I could relate so much to the book and how I viewed myself …

‘Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are’

That has really hit home for me and so with that I looked at who I was engaging with and who I wanted in my life and how I wanted to live my life because for too long I was living a life that everyone else wanted for me and was being made to feel guilty for not doing what others wanted of me … this is the year that I get to say NO instead of always thinking I have to say YES … if I want to spend my Friday night at home eating ice cream drinking champagne in my PJs while binge watching #shameless then the f#&k I will b@tch #megsisback …

So yes #2020 is going to be a wonderful year and yes I am sure there are still going to be days when I fall to my knees and want to cry but I think those days are going to be very limited this year … but I know that I have an amazing group of friends and my wonderful family that I am blessed to have … and yes I will be getting back onto the Champagne Dating #newappidea unless the man of my dreams comes out of my dreams and into my life so I look forward to bringing you all along on the journey as well as my everyday life …

On that note I better go and put a bottle of champagne into the Fridge to ensure that it will be cold enough for Champagne O’clock Thirsty Thursday …. M x

 

 

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